Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A really bad night / day

It's 9:30 on Tuesday night and Erin just got back into bed for the first time since Monday morning. Last night she got a call at about 8:30 telling her the mom we've been talking with about the adoption was going into labor. The mom wasn't due until March 14th, so we knew this was not going to turn out well. A friend of the mom, who has been a go-between in this situation, called Erin to say the mom wanted her to be there.

The baby was delivered at 6:10 this morning today but was already gone by the time the delivery was complete. The mother had somehow gotten an infection inside the womb which caused her go into labor, but his lungs weren't developed enough to survive outside the womb.

What amazes me about my wonderful wife is that she was with the mom at the hospital from 9:30 on Monday evening until about 11:00 on Tuesday morning. Erin's presence in the hospital was about loving on the mom, not being there to see the possible birth of our potential adopted son, since we knew he wasn't going to make it. I believe Erin was able to bring some Christ-like love and peace into a very difficult situation and as painful as this is, I'm glad we (mostly Erin) were able to be Christ's body for this young lady.

The mom named him Christian. Erin was even able to hold his little body for awhile.

We're not sure where to go from here. This is, by far, the hardest thing we've ever gone through.

4 comments:

Minnie said...

Donnie & Erin, wow. I know you hearts must feel ravaged at this sudden loss. I ache for you both. May God in his inifinite mercy shower you with his love & grace as you go through this. If I can do anything, please let me know. We too have lost babies & the dreams we had for them.

Minnie said...

Donnie & Erin, wow. I know you hearts must feel ravaged at this sudden loss. I ache for you both. May God in his inifinite mercy shower you with his love & grace as you go through this. If I can do anything, please let me know. We too have lost babies & the dreams we had for them.

Gina said...

Dear Donnie and Erin, I am so sorry for your loss. I am a friend of Minnie's and she passed on your blog. I hope it is okay that I responed. I can tell you that you were in the right place at the right time and God chose you both for his purpose in this sad situation. You both were part of His plan even though the pain can seem unbearable. My husband and I have gone through the loss of what we call in the adoption world and incomplete adoption. I in know way want to intrude or say that I know exactly how you feel, but I do know the adoption rollercoaster and what I can tell you is that it is one of the most rewarding journeys we have ever been on. About 7 years ago we drove to Oklahoma and held our little girl Jenna and had her in our room at the hospital and then the birthmom wanted to see her at about 5 in the morning. We said sure and we never saw her again. We were numb, shocked, heartbroken. We couldn't believe it. What I can say now with perspective and time is that she was not meant to be with us. God had a plan. Almost one month to the day we had our son Brett in our arms. That is some of our story in a nutshell but there is som much more. I will keep you in my prayers and if you want to talk or have questions you can get in contact with me.

Anonymous said...

Donnie and Erin.. I too am a friend of Minnie's and she passed this along to me too. I can't express to you how deeply sorry I am for your loss. Whether or not the adoption was complete is irrelevent, what is, is that you lost your son this week, and I can tell I know what that feels like. My daughter Piper was also born sleeping almost 4 years ago. I can't tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. My heart and prayers are with you both.