Monday, May 7, 2007

Driven or Called?

When I was playing linebacker in High School and College, I had a pretty interesting stance. You're supposed to be loose and ready to flow with the play and into the ballcarrier. Well, I was so intense before the snap, that my stance was way too tight. I wish I had a picture, but imagine me crouched halfway down, every muscle tensed, including my fingers. Looking back on my stellar career as a linebacker, I think that pre-snap intensity actually worked against me.

I'm not playing football anymore, but I have the same tendencies. I want to lead and motivate all those around me, willing them toward success, with an emotional energy that ups my heartrate and probably causes those around me to break out in a nervous sweat. If we just want it enough, it will happen!

Well, that type of emotional exertion isn't healthy, as I'm finding out. I can't manipulate those around me or force anything to happen. And trying to do so creates an emotional rollercoaster.

Last night I was sharing a bit of this with a guy who has been a mentor of mine for years, Randy Beckum. I told Randy it's hard to be patient and relaxed when I'm so driven. Randy (in his gentle way) rebuked me and said "but you're not driven, you're called." Wow, I needed that.

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