Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Relational Challenge of being a Pastor

I love reading the blogs of really smart pastors! It's an enjoyable discipline.
I ran into Craig Groeschel at the airport last week when flying back from the Evolve Conference. I didn't talk to him because I didn't want to bother him, he doesn't know me, but this current series of blog posts is incredible.

I'm learning the challenges of being a pastor and being friends with people in our church. I'm a people pleaser, I want everyone to like me. But I'm learning how to be courageous. If the choice is making someone like me or faithfully leading them toward Christ (even if it makes them mad) I MUST choose the latter. But I hate conflict, but I love people. It's only my love for them (which goes deeper than friendship) that can motivate me to confront when necessary.

So here are Craig's posts, "The challenge of ministry friendships." Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

There was a great comment on the first part: "I find my struggle is that many people want me to be their best friend (not because I am such a great guy…or am I…really I’m not. :)) When I fail to be their best friend I become their biggest letdown…"

I KNOW I've let people down in this way. Even in a smaller church, like ours, I simply CAN'T be everyone's friend. I have to let that go. And people in the congregation have to forgive me when I fail to meet their expectations of friendship.


BillMarty said...

This has always fascinated me in the context of radio personalities and their audiences. I'm sure it applies to pastors and many others as well.

I listen to Kevin Kietzman on 810 every day for some amount of time. Some days I spend more time "talking" with him than with my wife.

If I met him, it would feel like to me that we've had a relationship for years where he'd see more accurately that we are complete strangers. We've never actually communicated, but it feels like we go way back when that is not the case. I'm no psychologist, but I always thought that was interesting.

I imagine you go through the same type of thing - though there is more two way communication in the church. The more successful you are at this the worse it will get :)

Donnie Miller said...

What happened to your blog?

BillMarty said...

What happened to it, like it's gone? Or why haven't I posted anything lately?

There were some DNS shenanigans the other night, but those seem to be resolved.

Donnie Miller said...

As in "it's gone."
I could get back to it today but the posts were gone.

That's a great analogy about Kevin Keitzman. Actually, I thought he was my best friend but you burst my bubble.
I do email him once in awhile and met him in person years ago.

BillMarty said...

I see.. you are going to korrupted.net/martyblog and that doesn't work anymore.

Try bill.themartys.com or www.themartys.com.

The extent of my relationship with 810 WHB is one unanswered email. I don't think they'll be coming over for a BBQ anytime soon!