Last Saturday, I had the incredible privilege of eulogizing my Grandpa. I'm thankful to my aunts and uncles for giving me the opportunity and thankful to God for helping me bring together the right words. I'm also thankful to my Grandpa for being colorful and Christ-centered enough to provide the material for an interesting and edifying eulogy. Granpa was a character; a godly and loving character, but certainly a character. I'm so glad that his faith has finally become sight, but I sure do miss him. Below is a video I showed on Saturday, followed by my eulogy (at least as best as I could remember what I actually said yesterday).
http://youtu.be/cNND0Aj2iyw
"Donnie, I know what Jesus done for me." That refrain, more than any other, epitomized
the life of my Grandpa. Jo Ann liked to
tell me that Pastor Borger had told her that he'd never seen a more dramatic
conversion than that of my Grandpa. Now,
I didn't know the pre-conversion, hell-raising, rebel-rousing Glen Tyler, but I
did know the post-conversion, hell-raising, rebel-rousing Glen Tyler. And if his conversion was the most dramatic
Fred Borger had ever seen, than I can only imagine what Grandpa had been like
before giving his life to Christ.
And therein lies the tension that existed in Grandpa's life. On one hand, there was the man who had had
his life dramatically changed when he gave his life to Christ in his 30's; his
commitment to the church, his generosity, and his commitment to telling other people
about Jesus. On the other hand was the fact that some areas of Grandpa's life
remained unconverted. Now, none of us
ever reach perfection in this life, but for one reason or another there were
areas of Grandpa's life that seemed to remain untouched by the grace of
God. I'm not sure why that was. I do know that Grandpa had a difficult life
and it seems that there were some deep wounds that remained unhealed. As they always do in our relationships, those
unhealed wounds negatively impacted his relationships with those closest to
him.
An example of how I tried to navigate that tension in Grandpa's life was how I
approached our conversations. My goal was
always to keep the conversation going, to avoid any lull in the conversation. As we know, if there was any awkward silence
in the conversation, Grandpa would fall back to his default topics; what is
wrong with the Democrats and this week's reason for why the world was going to
end next week. But if we could keep
Grandpa talking about the good things, he was so pleasant to be around. I loved listening to the war stories, no matter
how many times I'd heard them. And I knew
the names of all the guys he's whipped in the bars (or been whipped by) but had
later lead in "the sinner's prayer."
I enjoyed the stories of his childhood, how he started a business or his
stories of my mom's childhood. Of
course, nothing was better than hearing about how he'd been dramatically saved in
a Church of the Nazarene. Occasionally,
however our conversation would reach a lull but on those occassions, the silence
would be wonderful as Grandpa would relish the silence, just sitting next to me
with that goofy smile on his face. I can
remember his visits to our house, as he sat in my dad's recliner in the living
room, smiling at us, happy to just be in the presence of his daughter and two
of his grandkids.
You've been able to sense it in what others have said today, the fact that
Grandpa fiercely loved the people in
his life. We also know, and Grandpa
would even admit to the fact that during the last ten years of his life he
learned to better love his family. I
never doubted that Grandpa loved me and that Grandpa was proud of me. It's such a privilege to be able to speak today
because Grandpa loved to hear me preach.
He and Jo Ann would sit on the second row and Grandpa would beam up at
me, so proud to have a preacher in the family.
I did notice however, that Grandpa smiled less after getting stronger
hearing aids. Afterwards, Grandpa would
always tell me what I should've said but he would also offer words of
encouragement, extolling me to "preach that Jesus is coming back."
We all know what a great gift the last week of his life was to all of us. I'd joked with several people that had
Grandpa been as relaxed and easy going throughout his life in the way he was
that last week, he would've been so much easier to live with. I don't know for sure, but I wonder if
Grandpa was able to relax that last week because he was finally able to relinquish
control of the world to the One who truly is in control. Maybe when Grandpa realized that he would be
leaving this world for good, he was finally able to realize that the King of
the Universe, not Glen Tyler, really is in charge. Whatever that reason, that last week Grandpa
did none of his usual preaching but rather simply went on and on about how good
God has been to him while also showering love upon all of those who came to
visit him. And a lot of people visited,
too. I had the privilege of spending some
time with him last Saturday and I saw how his face lit up whenever someone new
entered the room. If Grandpa was able to
love more and manipulate less that last week due to a deeper realization of God's
sovereignty, then imagine how much greater that realization must be for him now,
as he has actually seen first-hand the throne room of our God.
Grandpa also gave me a wonderful gift last Saturday; one final blessing. I went over to Grandpa's chair, knelt down
and pretty much put my head in his lap and then started crying. Grandpa knew what I was doing, he knew I was
telling him goodbye. So Grandpa put his
hand on my head saying, "Donnie, let's pray." He then started with, "Lord, I pray for
Donnie," then mumbling in a slightly embarassed tone " and I pray
for... Dendphfgag.... names escape me right now." While he may have not been able to recall
Erin and Dawson's names, I knew he was seeing their faces and I knew how much
he cared for all of us.
After he prayed for me, I told Grandpa what I'd always planned to tell him the
last time I would see him. Since I was
never sure what time really would be the last, I'd actually told him this
several other times before. Despite that
fact, however I told him one more time.
I said, "Grandpa, when I get to heaven, you're the first person I'm
going to look up."
I certainly don't mean any offense to the other family members I hope to see in
heaven again and I'm not sure why I've had that desire for so long. Maybe it's just because I liked Grandpa so
much. It might be however, because of
the fact that part of the reason I want to see Grandpa right when I get to
heaven is that I might not have a relationship with God were it not for my
Grandpa's faith. Both of my
Grandparent's were first generation Christians.
In the best way he knew how, Grandpa taught his family about the love of
Christ. I'm so thankful that my Grandpa
gave his life to Christ, that he took his family to church, that he sent my mom
to church camp where she met my dad.
Both of my parents taught me about God and now my wife and I get to teach
our son about God. I am so thankful to
my Grandpa for loving Jesus.
When I was a sophomore in High School, I wrote a short paper on the person I
respected most and that person was my Grandpa.
I have to say that as I've gotten older, I've actually idolized my
Grandpa less. But I've also loved him
even more. I mean this in every sense of
the word; I am eternally grateful that he was my Grandpa.
In
July of 2006, I was standing before the Notre Dame Cathedral, almost breathless
with awe, when I placed my foot on the "point zero" of Paris. I stepped on the metallic disc embedded in
the stone while being fully aware of the fact that those who did so were guarantying
their return to that exact same spot. Well,
7 years, a bunch of french classes, some fundraising, an explanation to my wife
as to why I thought it would be fun to take in the Parisian sights of the
finish of the 100th Tour de France and a train ride from Chartres (where we are
currently staying) later, I had finally returned to that exact spot.
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