A College Football Holiday

January 1st is the best sports day of the year, big-time College Football ALL DAY LONG! I'm just getting ready for bed after 12 hours of football.
Of course, New Year's Day is best when the Hawks are playing, as they did today against the South Carolina Gamecocks. I had the sense that South Carolina was over matched in this game but I also watched in horror this fall as the Hawkeyes gave away games through turnovers to 4 lesser opponents, so I knew there was always the possibility of chocking it away.

But the team that blew all those dumb games early in the year has been replaced by the hottest team in the Big Ten and a Sophomore QB who is playing with a new found confidence and intensity. Iowa dominated the line of scrimmage the entire game and since Kirk Ferentz is too classy to run up the score, we only won by 21 but the game wasn't as close as the score.

Erin and I watched the game with two fellow Hawkeyes, Chad and Michelle Holland at KC's version of Kinnick Stadium, the Other Place in Olathe. Chad and I are much happier in this picture than in the one Erin took of us after the 2003 Orange Bowl. While eating the OP's amazing pizza and watching the game, we started making plans for our trip Happy Valley for the Iowa-Penn State game the last weekend of September. We'll drop our kids off with our parents (Chad and Michelle grew up close to me) and then spend the weekend in the Appalachian Mountains. I've already got a guest speaker for that Sunday, Matt Schoenfield of Abundant Living.

If you want to watch the 45 second highlight video today's game, you can do so at ESPN.
ESPN Highlights

For the longer version, complete with interviews, check out the Big Ten Network.

I'm a bit late getting this posted but after my Christmas Sunday message on the meaning of "Savior" and "Immanuel", the names for Jesus in Matthew 1, Philip Wheeler developed this image and sent it to me. Thanks, Philip.

That's My Boy!

You are looking at a sonogram of my yet-to-be named little boy. He's due March 1st but it's not looking like he'll wait that long. The sonogram was taken on the older equipment of the crisis pregnancy center the birth mom is working with, so the picture isn't that great. I was able however, to personally confirm that he's a boy, "a well endowed boy," according to the nurse.

Although we'd told a few people already, we went "public" with the info on Sunday morning by sharing it with TFC. Erin was crying, the whole congregation clapped, it was a beautiful moment.
This may come as a shock to many of you but this decision has been several months in the making.

This is gonna be a long post...

If I'm going to start at the very beginning, I've gotta go back to Pastors and Spouses retreat last April, when I began praying that God would guide in getting more involved in my community. The next weekend, I found a flyer for The Music Man tryouts, decided to give it a shot not knowing how much my life would change because of that decision. But all of that is the subject of other blog posts...

Last September, a friend from The Music Man left an urgent sounding request for us to call her back immediately, "I need to come over and talk with you ASAP." I had NO idea what was happening but when I called her, I convinced her to tell me over the phone. She informed me her 22 year old niece was pregnant and wanting to place the baby in an adoptive family. Both Erin and my immediate response was "no way, we've made this plan for IVF and we've gotta stick with it." We promised our friend we'd pray but told her the chances of us adopting this baby were basically nonexistent.

So we started praying. A couple weeks later, we were at my good buddy Ryder's first birthday party and we asked his mom whether we should meet with the birth mother. We wanted Franci's opinion as a single mom because I was worried about letting down the birth mom. Franci encouraged us to just meet with her, that it wouldn't hurt. Well, it certainly didn't hurt...

We met with the birth mother and her aunt on Wednesday night, October 22nd at the Chili's on 151st St. We walked into this meeting expecting to find ways to tell this young lady we weren't ready to adopt her baby. We walked out of that dinner "in love" with the mom. She's a very smart, sweet and pretty girl and we suddenly became interested in the baby inside of her. But I knew we couldn't make this life-changing decision just because we liked her, so we were very honest with her though, telling her of our plans for IVF and that we didn't feel we were ready yet for adoption. We did however, commit to praying about the decision. In my own mind, I came away from that meeting thinking we should make a decision by the end of November, so she could find another family if we didn't adopt her baby.

We prayed. A lot. Every day. Asking God to reveal whether he wanted us to adopt this baby. I can remember once praying, "God, if you want us to adopt this baby, then you'd better make it very clear, but I can't imagine you'd really want us to do this." One night, I joked that if I came outside and the hubcap that had fallen off my car was back on, I'd take it as a sign from God. One night, Franci and Ryder were over for dinner and when Ryder grabbed an adoption book off our coffee table, I asked him what we should do; adoption or IVF. "If a one year old talks, I'll take it as a sign from God." He immediately let out some indistinguishable baby sounds. Franci however, was pretty sure he said, "do both." That was election night, we were still praying but not expecting much.

A couple weeks later, I went to see a friend from The Music Man perform in Spring Hill HS's production of Seussical the Musical. Alex, who had sang the lead MM's barbershop quartet, was playing the lead of Horton in that musical. Seussical combines several of Dr. Seuss' stories, including Horton Hears a Who and Horton Hatches an Egg. Over and over, Horton sings this line, "a person's a person no matter how small." I broke down crying in the Spring Hill auditorium. As clearly as I've ever heard God speak to me before, I sensed "Donnie, I want you to adopt this little boy." I cried and prayed during the drive home.

The next night, Erin went with Franci and Annie to see the play and Erin experienced the exact same emotion. It had been just over a month that we'd been praying for God to guide us toward the right decision. While it might have been more dramatic if a one year old had spoken to us, I'd say speaking through a High School's musical was pretty dramatic as well.

We waited another week or so, to solidify this decision, but when this unexplainable peace settled into our hearts, we knew we were going the right direction. My prayer changed to, "God, we think you want us to leap off this cliff, so we're running full-speed toward the edge. If you don't want us to jump, you'd better stop us. You'd better stop us SOON!"

Beyond this emotional experiences, there were also so many little coincidences that lead to us making this decision. From having some friends from GCT on the board of an organization that does adoption grants to being promised financial help we didn't expect, so many signs pointed toward this being the right thing to do. We could ignore some of them, but eventually there became too many signs to ignore. "Okay, God, we FINALLY get your hints" became another of our prayers. Strangely enough, we came to our decision just as November ended.

We spent the first week of December trying to set up a face-t0-face meeting with the birth mother, to tell her our decision but we kept missing each other. When we met with the social worker who is doing our home study a week later, she strongly suggested we call the mom IMMEDIATELY after leaving her home. We did so and she was very happy to hear the news. She had just started looking through the profiles of other potential adoptive families but was very glad she didn't have to continue that process.

So today we met with our adoption lawyer, saw the sonogram and ate dinner with the birth mom. The conversation was wonderful, we comfortably discussed all the topics and issues our lawyer has told us we needed to discuss. Our lawyer told us today that he has a strong sense this young lady will stick with her decision, which is coming from his years of adoption work.

The thing that struck me the most was how happy she is to have us as the adoptive parents. She told us how relieved she was to not have to meet with other families. She "fell in love" with us the first night we met, having a strong sense that we could provide for life for which she hoped her baby could have. She also said that she NEEDED this baby to be raised in a strong Christian home, to which I responded, "you obviously don't know me very well." Erin gets nervous when I crack jokes like that.

While I've hit the main points, I've barely scratched the surface of our emotions. Our fear, our excitement, our peace, our strong sense of God's guidance as well as our gratitude for that guidance as well as the excitement about getting to know this little boy. A good pastor friend, Russ Koelzer, told me that being a father teaches you so much about God. I'm excited to learn about God in those ways but I also know that adoption gives a whole new level of insight into God's love for us. Adoption means we've been chosen and God has chosen to adopt every single one of us.

Last Sunday, I read this passage from Ephesians 1. I don't know how many people noticed but I almost started crying as I read the passage. "God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."

My yet to be named little boy, you have been chosen by God and chosen by your parents. We're so excited to welcome you into our family!

A Love Wins Christmas

The following is from my sweet wife, Erin.

Its a very LOVE WINS Christmas!

I've come to the point when I know that something amazing is going to happen when Jaymie and I go into the clubs. Usually before we leave our house, Donnie and I start bickering about something stupid. That is my clue that something awesome is going to happen. I think that there is a possibility that we get irritated, annoyed, and grumpy with each other right before we have a "God moment". It happens when we pray before bed, too.
When we got to End Zone, our bouncer friends welcomed us, opening the door for Jaymie carrying the big box of treats. As soon as we saw our friend, who is always serving behind the bar, she smiled. We set the treats down and one of the girls that we've been chatting with lately came right over to see what we had brought. I chatted with her awhile and she was very gracious and thanked us for the treats. She also wished us a Merry Christmas. Jaymie was talking with another friend about some tough things that are going on. And she wanted to know where our church was and if we could get together to talk some time. She seems to trust Jaymie. Jaymie made sure she knew that she wouldn't be alone if she decided to come. We wished everyone a Merry Christmas before leaving.
As soon as we walked into Bonita Flats, everyone greeted us and I saw Guido over in his normal spot adding up some money in a stocking. We went to the dressing room and set down the box of treats and talked with some girls for a couple of minutes. Then I walked back out and and a couple of ladies had brought in clothes to donate to someone in need. So as Jaymie helped them load stuff into her car, I stood and talked with Guido who had something to give to me... Well, not TO me, I guess to give THROUGH me... He sat there while I watched and counted out the gifts given by all of our friends at Bonita's... It was three times the amount they gave to help people in need last year. THREE times! I stood there shocked. I couldn't think of anything to say except that they were amazing! Guido said, "Your program works. You come in here every month and you don't preach at us and it works." I just shook my head in amazement and said, "We do it to show the love of Jesus." And he said, "You are." Guido himself bought a gift card to a grocery store that is enough to feed a big family a wonderful Christmas dinner. One of the ladies got another gift card to help with toiletries and other necessities from Walmart. And then there were the ladies that cleaned out all of their closets to donate clothes that their children had outgrown. And if I add up all of the cash that came from a bunch of others, it blows me away to think of how much of Jesus' love will be shown because of the generosity of my friends.
So, if you know of someone who has a need, please come find me and let me know. Let's spread the love of Jesus around. LOVE WINS!

No Perfect People Allowed - Chapter 13

Recovering an Addicted Generation: Creating a Culture of Healing

I'm convinced addiction is the hidden secret in the church today. It's everywhere, but we hide it well.

Addictions drive people into a state of absolute helplessness, a state Jesus referred to as spiritual poverty. And he called it a "blessed" state to be in - why? Because it cracks our shells of denial (in which we all tend to hide) and forces us to recognize our deep dependence upon God. But isn't it ironic that those so close to this "blessed" condition, in need of grace and truth, would not be welcomed in church groups?

The Bible indicates we are all in this abnormal broken state of trying to "play God," and as the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector indicates - the only real difference between us is whether we recognize it or deny it.

First, we must not force those with addictions into hiding from God and running from the church community as happened in the past century with alcoholics - they need God and they need community before they get better. But we must also invite them in and hope for healing. We must be prepared with groups and programs or know of outside resources available to help set fee those enslaved to addictions.

True healing often requires a lengthy process of righting the wrongs and uncovering the lies of the past. God can heal us immediately, but more often he takes us along a difficult path that forces us to continually depend upon him, because only in him do we find true life. If he immediately healed us, we would immediately turn back to our independent, self-centered ways.

Unless churches and small groups address these very real struggles and give encouragement and spiritual direction to people suffering from addiction, compulsive behaviors, or abuse, they will soon feel they don't fit, or worse, that their faith didn't work since they will struggle. If self-defeating behavior is denied, ignored, or minimized, then our religion has become a shield to hide from life's realities, and we've missed our calling as a healing force in the world.

Dr. Patrick Carnes notes that at the core most addictions are fed by a cycle of shame.

When children grow up in families that are both rigid and detached emotionally, addiction often follows.


If a church does not have the resources for a full-blown recovery program, it's best not to try to take the place of recovery groups. Instead, provide referrals and Christ-centered support for spiritual growth that gets people into recovery and then beyond recovery. But to get people stated, leaders must assume addictions exist and creatively find ways to bring people out of hiding.

Tobacco Addictions: So how has the church helped addicts? I may be wrong, but it appears we have either made it clear that if you smoke, you're bad and not welcome here, or we've just ignored it. Instead, we need to provide both the grace and the truth along with spiritual direction and support that people need to overcome their addictions. Unfortunately, our culture does not provide the same support system necessary for recovery of nicotine addiction that it does for substance abuse, yet it requires a more concentrated effort to stop smoking since it's so socially acceptable and equally as enslaving.

It seems the best a church can do is help smokers grow spiritually and let them know God desires that nothing enslaves them. I challenge people to ask God, "Is there anything in my life keeping me from experiencing your life? Give me willingness to trust you with it?"

Sexual addiction: One of the main ways the church can help our sex-crazed culture is to begin to help people understand that lust and fantasy and pornography are just imposters of the real thing they desire.

As we understand both addiction and the path to recovery, we can better nurture a healing culture where God's grace and truth work together powerfully to set people free.

If you're struggling with an addiction, please check out this Celebrate Recover group that meets in Olathe- link.
I've met the leaders of this ministry and I believe in what they're doing.
There is also a Celebrate Recover group in Gardner at New Life Church (you'll need to click on the "ministries" link.

Truth is all about Jesus

I recently read an interesting interview with Will Smith in Newsweek. Will's ideas on "Truth" are similar to what I've been thinking lately.

Here's an excerpt from the interview.

There are also rumors about you being a Scientologist. Jada has spoken about you two studying many religions, including Scientology. So are you a Scientologist?

I love the nature of humanity's search for meaning. For me I'm certain about my relationship with the model of perfection of human life that's laid out with the life of Jesus Christ. I'm certain of that. So I'm at home and not fearful when I sit in a mosque or a synagogue or a Buddhist temple, the same way that I'm at home in the Church of Scientology. I like anywhere people are searching for the truth, and I respect their path and I'm intrigued by their path. I think when you are certain in and of what you believe in, you can open your mind to seeing the ways of others. I'm not bothered when someone says "Allah" because they're talking about God - we are talking about the same person. I was in India recently and my hotel was near the Taj Mahal. Five times a day there would be a call for prayer, and it was the most beautiful thing. I was lying in my bed thinking, no matter what your religion is, it would be great to have that reminder five times a day to remember your Lord and Savior.
So you're not a Scientologist?

No, but when people are afraid of religion they have to go back and get in touch with the Good Book. Fear of other religions means you're questioning your own understanding, and that's just not where I am.

You were raised Baptist, right?

Yes, but I grew up in a neighborhood with all religions, and so I'm very used to studying and being around different faiths. So it doesn't bother me to look into different religions. My grandmother raised me to be a do-gooder in the church, and it was about doing what you can to help your community. So whatever religion does that - Jewish, Muslim, Scientology - it's cool because the end result is the same.

Here are some of my own thoughts:

In John 14:6, Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life." As a follower of Jesus, I base my life upon Jesus' claim.
But the whole point is JESUS! Jesus is bigger than Christianity and he's bigger than the Bible. Now, Christianity is a sociological group of people trying to live for Jesus (most of the time) and the Bible teaches us how to know Jesus making them VERY helpful in knowing what it means to follow Jesus, but Jesus still transcends Christianity and the Bible.

I believe salvation will come to people who aren't Christians and have never read the Bible. I don't believe, however, that salvation will come to people who aren't following Jesus.

I liked Will's comments about how it doesn't matter the religion as long as the community is being served. You could take that comment too far, I guess, but the point I want to make is that the point of following Jesus is serving others. If you read the Gospels, it doesn't seem that Jesus was too concerned about RIGHT THINKING, but rather RIGHT DOING. We can tell whether a person is following Jesus, experiencing salvation, not because they have the right theology but because they're serving others. Who did Jesus condemn to hell? The ultra-religious who had the right beliefs but were totally missing the point.

That's why people with "right theology" will miss out on salvation while some people with "bad theology" will experience final salvation. Our intellectual beliefs matter but they aren't the end-all for Jesus. If you don't believe that, read the last part of Matthew 25. link

Right now, there are people living for Jesus who have never heard the name "Jesus." But in their own way, they've responded to the life of salvation that Jesus offers. There are also people sitting in Christian worship services who hold "right beliefs" that aren't living for Jesus.

CS Lewis gives us a beautiful picture of this at the end of his Chronicles of Narnia series. It's at the end of The Last Battle. People who spent their lives in the false religion of Tash are still welcomed into Aslan's Kingdom, because Aslan saw in their hearts a search for Truth, though they weren't able to find the "correct" words.

Truth is a person and that person is Jesus. Truth is not a set of propositions nor intellectual statements. Truth is Jesus. So, as Will Smith is showing us, when we've anchored ourselves in the Truth of Jesus, we can go looking for reflections of that Truth in other religions, even Christianity. As long as we stay anchored on Jesus, we can see his Truth all around us, even in unlikely places.

When Adam Hamilton of the Church of the Resurrection preached a sermon series on the religions of the world, he pointed out all the good in other religions and then demonstrated how that good found it's completion in Jesus.

And one final idea, from the book The Shack. The Jesus figure in that book makes this statement about world religions, "Not every path leads to me but I'll go down any path to find you."

A special houseguest

So Erin and I are going to have a special houseguest this weekend, my good little buddy, Ryder. I'm quite proud of the fact that Ryder enjoys hanging out with me, I guest I just have a trustworthy face!

Besides getting the opportunity to watch football together, we're keeping Ryder for the weekend to give mom a break. She works her tail off going to school, working, directing all of our GCT stuff and raising Ryder, so we're glad to help her enjoy a weekend off.

On Friday night, I'm hanging out with Ryder and our other good buddy, Gabe. I'll be babysitting Ryder and Gabe's dad (who is there because my sweet wife doesn't think I'm qualified to watch a one year old all by myself - something about never having changed a diaper) while all the ladies go to the Nutcracker. It's so great that my wife gets to enjoy the Nutcracker and I don't have to be there suffering through it with her!

So this weekend will be a test of my resolve; can I continue my commitment to never changing a diaper until it belongs to my own child? With my wife's help, I think I can pull it off... I'll let you know how it goes.

Jesus' jacked-up family tree

Sunday's message was probably one of the more interesting one's I've ever preached. Which is pretty ironic, considering I was preaching on the genealogy at the beginning of Matthew. But the 'dullness' of the passage forced me to amp-up the creativity. I titled the sermon, Jesus' Jacked-Up Family Tree.

Josh Vance read the passage and just one verse into his reading, I jumped up out of my chair and interrupted him, "are we really reading a genealogy today...?" I then explained how Jesus' genealogy would likely be a list of upstanding, Jewish men. Everytime Josh read the name of a woman (some non-Jewish and rather shady), I interrupted and told her story.

I certainly kept people's attention on Sunday and there was even a nervous energy when I first interrupted Josh, "was that planned, what's going on?" I love that type of dissonance at the beginning of a sermon!

The last few minutes of my message was driving home the point that whether you feel like an insider who ought to have their act together or an outsider that feels judged by those who look like they have their act together, "there's room in Jesus' family tree for you."
I really let it rip toward the end of my message and I heard that Joe Kumor was walking around the kids area telling people, "Donnie's really preaching it today!"

You can listen to the message here.

Valerie Sass and the worship band played this song as our response:

Valerie Sass and our band did this song as the response.



By far, the BEST part of Sunday morning was that a good friend of Erin and mine, who doesn't have a lot of church background was there that morning and told me several times that afternoon, "church was great, I paid attention the entire time and got a lot out of it."

What really amazes me about Sunday is that the service (at least the passage and the response song) was planned in October of 07, during my sermon planning retreat. While I was seeking God's guidance as to what to preach each Sunday of 2008, God already knew the people that would be at TFC the morning of Dec. 14th, needing to hear this message. In October of 07, I didn't even know a lot of the people that were in worship on Sunday.

Wow, what a coincidence...